Growth

A lot of writers would describe inspiration as that feeling when you have to drop everything and write what you are thinking about at that moment because you just have to get it out on a piece of paper, a word document, or a note on your phone. But sometimes, inspiration has a different feel to it. The feeling that you want to create, but you don’t know what. You start typing and what comes out is nowhere near as good as what happened in your head. That’s what I’m having, but on a much greater scale.

I want to create but I don’t know what. I want to change the world but I don’t know how. Sometimes I think I am too lazy and sometimes I think I care too much what people think. Sometimes I wonder what I would do if no one was watching. But honestly, what I’m truly passionate about is writing, saying and doing things because people are watching. And I mean that in so many different ways. One of my favorite things to do is make people laugh. But even more than that, I want to expand my knowledge so I can expand the knowledge of others. When I tell my parents about something that’s going on in the world that they have no idea about and I expose them to a new perspective, it makes me so pleased with myself. I wish that I could be as uninhibited amongst everyone as I am with them because broadening others’ horizons is truly what I love to do. I don’t know how that will manifest itself, where I will write it, or even if I will write it. Who knows, I might even be a professor, though that’s not where I’m expecting my path to lead.

I study sociology because I care about how people interact. I started studying it because I was interested in race relations. My interest in race relations has grown and my interests have grown to care about all human beings. I don’t mean to sound like some corny person who pretends that we have no differences because we’re all human beings, in fact I mean to say the opposite. I mean to say that because I struggled with my race identity, I care about each and every person’s identity and having respect for it and embracing it. I used to think that because I was one of the few people of color in my high school that I was super open minded, but now I see how myopic my viewpoint was compared to how it is now and I hope that I will only continue to grow in this respect.